Standing Still in the Chaos

I'm still writing the Crown Him with Many Crowns devotionals, but I wanted to take a moment to discuss something that God has placed on my heart. As many of you are experiencing, this seems to be a season of struggle. Some days things feel almost normal, but then something will happen and I am abruptly reminded of the chaos surrounding me. It is tempting to say it isn't fair (and I've come very close to uttering those words in the past few months). It feels as though the struggle will never end. I don't know about you, but so much of my battle centers around timing. I want to be in control of my circumstances and timetable. I want to know when the trial, hurt, and imposition will end. Unfortunately for my desires, but thankfully for my maturity, God doesn't operate on my schedule. He is not obligated to reveal his will to me.

For anyone that knows me, you know that I'm a problem solver. I like to have a plan. I like to have backup plans. I'm the person that always did the optional work - even if I didn't need it. This season of life has created a sense of anxiousness that I have never before experienced. I don't like the feeling of not being able to "fix" the problem. I was fretting about this uncertainty this past week and praying (honestly it was probably more complaining as if God didn't already know what was happening). God encouraged my heart with the verses from Exodus 14:13-14, "And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'" That sounds so simple - stand and be silent. Do not fear, but those instructions can feel so difficult. See, I don't like doing "nothing." That is how I often perceive waiting on the Lord. I am the farmer that prays for rain and ploughs the fields, buys fertilizer, makes sure the tractor is in good working order, and buys sprinklers as a backup plan. I don't like waiting. I feel helpless. I don't think God is calling us to complacency or idleness. After all, the Israelites had to walk through two towering walls of water. I doubt they would have been willing to do so if an Egyptian army was not standing behind them. Still, we will never truly experience God as our salvation from our circumstances if we refuse to trust that he knows best. Our job is obedience and to take the next step. I think there was probably a good measure of terror that afflicted the hearts of Israel as they walked on dry land - never knowing if the waves would finally crash over them. He wants us to see the eternal, and so do many of us, but we want it to be on our terms and when we do not need the eternal. We want God's grace, but not the circumstances that demand his grace. We want peace, but not a storm. We want love, but not loss. I don't know what you're facing, but I hope you are encouraged to know that waiting is not nothing. It is trust and it is the assurance that God is faithful and that he will complete what he began. Do plough the fields. Be faithful to prepare for the rain that he will send, but don't buy the sprinklers. God never needs a backup plan.